This afternoon I took a break from a 12 hour day of work and entered a local movie theater to watch Abby Johnson's story in the movie UNPLANNED! It was a 1:30 pm showing and the theater was close to packed. I chose to not go with friends or family, but to view it privately in a public movie theater; unsure of how I would react to it.
I wasn't afraid to invite others, I just simply wanted to be free to not have to reassure others that I was OK or not OK. As God would have it, on the way in, a lovely women of God I know called out my name, as I stood in the concession line. She knows my story. We didn't sit together because we have "assigned seats" but I knew she was there, if I had a meltdown.
As a post abortive woman (a woman who has had an abortion or abortions) I went prepared with a pocket full of tissues, for the deluge of emotions I thought I might experience.
I was grateful that the movie never lost my attention. I watched it with anticipation and I was moved by the accuracy of the portrayals of the life inside of the abortion clinic. The push by staff to “decide and schedule” the abortion, the financial impact if I waited, the lack of compassion as I lay on the table, the cattle style recovery room, the crackers, the pink hospital gowns, the blood, the pain, all of it, resonated deeply within my own and many personal memories. It was and is true.
PureFlix Films did an excellent job communicating what actually happens, without being overly gruesome. Don't get me wrong there are some scenes that are hard to watch. Honestly, everything about abortion is gruesome, inhumane, and terrifying, but they did it in such a way, that the overall message was not lost. I heard some women weeping during one scene in particular. My heart broke for them.
I was surprised that my internal response was not more personally emotional, like the weeping women's were outwardly. I can remember a time when it would've been. If I had gone to see the movie at all, I don't think I would have or could have stayed for the whole thing. There were several times when I wanted to yell out loud, GOD FORGIVE US! That battle cry in me, is not uncommon, but the desire to publicly shout it out, is not common. I refrained.
My internal response testified to two things for me. First, that while I am a mommy who chose to abort 8 of my 11 babies; initially believing the lie that it was a clump of cells, later on choosing abortion for convenience and sometimes subconsciously using abortion to self-harm, I was not ashamed today while watching this movie. Yes, I regret my abortions, but I don't live in the shame or shadows of them anymore. I am forgiven and healed. I walk in that forgiveness and healing and today was no different. I Praise God for His healing. I don't deserve it, but I won't waste the Price Paid on the Cross by Christ, either by being silent or ashamed!
In some way, a part of me felt heard. Not that any of the choices to abort my babies, were right or humane, or healthcare, but that the story, part of my story and millions of women like me is on movie screens across the United States and shortly around the world. Its not a dirty little secret anymore! The Abortion Industry just got served!
Second, I KNOW this movie will help create a shift in our culture. This movie depicts the REAL and TRUE life inside an abortion clinic. This is not Hollywood taking liberties to beef up a story. This is REAL and TRUE and it's a long time coming!
Thank you Abby for sharing your story, thank you PUREFLIX for turning it into a movie!
My favorite part of the story was seeing Abby on the other side of the fence! When and if you watch the movie you'll see what I mean. It seems subtle but its POWERFUL. Like a big punch in the eye, to satan and a huge testimony to the power of God and a praying Momma and Pro-Lifers around the world.
This movie can and will do great things to turn the hearts and minds of people back to a culture of LIFE. I look forward to seeing its impact ripple across the United States and around the world.
My other side of the fence day came too! It was a day I'll never forget. It was the day that I knelt in prayer on the grass, in front of the HillCrest Women's ( ABORTION CLINIC) Medical Center on Front Street in Harrisburg PA, during the 40 days for life campaign in March of 2014. It had been a very long time, more than 12 years since my last abortion, and almost 10 years since I became a Christian. But this day marked the beginning of my post abortive healing and coming out of the shadows.
Please go see this movie. Bring friends, family and co-workers on both sides of the abortion issue. I'll be praying for you and the millions yet to see it!
For women who have had an abortion, please know you are not alone, Christ offers forgiveness and healing!
Finally, this women of God I saw on the way into the movie theater, I saw her on the way out too. She tenderly asked if I was ok, I said Yes. We exchanged some thoughts about the movie and went our separate ways!
Thanks DGE for checkin' in on me! <3
Love,
Tammi
